The 5 Best Presents My Kids Ever Gave Me

It’s my birthday this month which means that over the next few days I will be given a series of fantastic home-made gifts crafted by my offspring.

Over the years, I have been presented with some absolute classics which I have stored away to show my kids when they are adults. Here are some of my favourites:

1. Drawings

Kids art is awesome; brightly coloured, straight to the point and occasionally done on paper instead of the walls. My favourites are the portraits that reveal your true essence, sometimes more true than you would like such as the paiting my daughter did of me ‘looking grumpy’.

2. Sculptures

I have had the joy of opening the gift of many a 3-D construction made from found things such as a piece of old gum, a shoe horn and some cat hair. My favourite was a snow scene my daughter made out of cardboard, salt and her own freakishly sticky spit.

3. The Contents of Their Pockets

Receiving the contents of your kid’s pocket after a walk in the park is one of the greatest joys of parenting. The more usual items you will be given include feathers, stones, conkers and leaves; rarer items include gold stars and dead insects and sugar packets pilfered from the cafe.

4. Sea Glass

My all time favourite ‘kid presents’ have been pieces of sea glass. There’s something so beautiful about glass that has been ruthlessly crushed against rocks by an unforgiving ocean. Dark blue pieces are the real treasure, rarer than ice cream on a winter’s day.

5. Shows

A made up performance from your child really is the gift that keeps giving and giving, especially if they go on for hours and appear to have no theme, script or plot. The only downside of the home made show is that your children will often charge you at least 20p entry and may keep you trapped on the sofa until next Thursday.