LivingwithKids

You know when you have one of those days where you wish you could just crawl back under the duvet and forget about everything and try again tomorrow? A grrr day?

Well I've had one of those weeks. A grrr week.

On Monday, during a rare break in the rain, I left the back door open. When I opened the front door to the postman it blew shut, smashing the glass all over the floor. Queue cut feet and fingers (mine) and endless phone calls to the insurance company.

On Tuesday we discovered we have mould in the kitchen. Given the kitchen was only fitted two summers ago this is not great news. The mould is all over the external wall and it looks like a drainpipe needs replacing.

On Wednesday I realised the tumble dryer door had broken. It still works but the door won't stay shut (is this dangerous?) It's no longer under guarantee and the manufacturers quoted me £150 to come and fix it (um... the price of a new dryer?!)

And yesterday I managed to knock a bottle of favourite perfume on the floor, smashing the glass everywhere. Queue cut feet (again).

But then a friend told me she has Breast Cancer. We have boys the same age, she is just a year older than me. She has shaved her hair in prep for the chemo and told me cancer 'wouldn't dare' take her on, the mood she's in.

Now that puts everything in perspective.

OK, I realise your kids will probably be making a card for their dads this Father’s Day (June 20), and quite right too. But if you would like to treat him to something else, too (either from them or yourself), here are some suggestions – they’ve all been road tested on Man of the House, so they’re 100% male approved.

Clinique Happy for Men Groom Happy Set. I love the smell of this cologne and after shave balm – light wood notes spiked with citrus, very manly. (£33, available from John Lewis)

A gorgeous photo book from PhotoBox (from £19.99) – you (or your children) choose the pictures and the captions to make a really personal and lovely gift, simples.

Some rather yummy (and very masculine) pampering products. The Father’s Day Collection from Elemis includes full size Ice Cool foaming shave gel, Deep Cleanse Facial Wash, Energising Skin Scrub and Daily Moisture Boost, all in a stylish black wash bag (£25, from timetospa).

A Thorntons chocolate football shirt, iced with a personal message (£4.49). Well, it IS the World Cup.

And a bottle of single malt whisky. Buy them a bottle of Talisker, The Singleton of Dufftown or Dalwhinnie (available from Oddbins) – and they'll get two VIP passes to a free malt whisky master class at 20 locations around the country.

*Don’t forget you get savings back for your kids from the above retailers and many more through KidStart. If you’re not a member, click here to join.

In yesterday's Times there was an article by Andrew Billen in which he asserts that 40-year-old women (like his own wife) make better mums because they are calmer, they have achieved what they wanted to in work, and they are more mature. 'Motherhood is often wasted on the young, whose attention is often directed elsewhere.'

Hogwash. Personally I believe age has nothing to do with how good a mum you'll be. I know plenty of mums in their 40s who really struggled with the idea they had to put another human being first, and others who complain of being constantly knackered. And I know mums in their teens and 20s and 30s who are fantastic, natural mothers.

But I'd love to know what you think. Do 40-year-olds really make better mums, or is age just a number?

It was very hot, that day. One of my friends from uni and I were working in a local factory to earn a bit of cash and Radio 1 was on. We sang along to the songs and joked with the other women working on the production line.

I knew my mum was driving my grandmother back from seeing relatives in Wales to her home near Marlborough in Wiltshire. I knew the route they would take. Through Savernake Forest because it was a nice drive, and they would probably stop for a coffee in Hungerford, because they liked the hotel there. I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about saving the money to go on holiday to Italy.

So when the news came on the radio and the presenter announced that a gunman had gone on the rampage in Hungerford, my world stopped. This was before we all had mobiles, of course. I ran to the nearest pay phone and rang my grandmother. No reply.

All I could do was wait, and keep calling, my heart thumping, my fingers becoming clumsier with each dial. Finally a click and then I heard my granny’s familiar Irish lilt. Both she and my mum were OK, though they were both badly shaken. They had passed through Savernake about an hour before Ryan murdered his first victim, a young mum of two. That day, my mum and Granny had decided not to stop in Hungerford for coffee.

This week the events in Cumbria reminded us all that no matter what you do to protect yourself and your family, there are some things we cannot control. A gorgeous sunny day turns to tragedy because of the actions of one man. An entire community is left devastated. My heart goes out to the victims, their families and the witnesses.

Man of the House probably thinks he chose me to be the mother of his offspring. I don't mind him thinking that, but the truth is I chose him. It wasn't just that he was attractive and looked good in a pair of jeans (although that definitely helped). But it was also because I knew we shared the same values and that he would be an excellent dad. Fortunately I was right.

But I know a few men who, on paper at least you would think would make good dads, but have actually fallen woefully short of their partner's expectations in every respect - financial, domestic, nurturing. Of course their children idolise them, which suggests a worrying pattern will be formed, particularly with their sons.

Anyway, with Father's Day a few weeks away, I've been thinking about what makes a man a good dad. Here are my top two non-negotiables - I'd love to hear what you think, too:

*to be a provider for his family - emotionally and preferably financially as well (although of course if he's a Stay At Home Dad that's fine too)

*respect for the mother (this is absolutely paramount, even if the couple have separated)

When No 1 Son was very small, like most boys (and of course some girls) his age he wanted to play football. He supported Chelsea and was a mascot at Stamford Bridge. He happily enrolled in the after school football club. He had boots and shin pads and knee pads, a strip. He collected every World Cup coin and sticker.

There was just one problem. He wasn't very good at football. I'm saying this as his mum, who loves and adores him and is proud of everything he achieves. But he really wasn't very good at football. He was hopeless at tackling, and rarely got control of the ball. When it came time to pick teams for inter-school tournaments, he wasn't chosen. Of course he was upset, particularly when it happened four or five times. After that, he stopped playing football.

Fortunately he enjoyed other sports - tennis, and fencing. And the fact he didn't make the football team hasn't held him back. He has had plenty of opportunity to work as part of a team in science and media studies projects since.

If I think back to my own school days, and the misery of being one of the last to be chosen for netball, it's not surprising that I've never been one for team sports either. I'm a horse-rider, a scuba diver, a snorkeller. You won't find me on a sports team, but I do know how to be a team player.

It's coming up to Non Competitive Sports Day again for many kids. So I'd love to know what you think. Do kids need to take part in team sports to be team players?

We’re HUGE fans of Where the Wild Things Are in this house - the book and the film. And to celebrate the release of the movie on DVD, we’ve teamed up with Play.com to offer you the chance to win three sets of exclusive merchandise.

The prizes include: A childs fuzzy monster suit – as worn by the character Max in the film A Where The Wild Things Are Kite A Where The Wild Things Are T-Shirt A Where The Wild Things Are Wacky Wobbler Bobble Head

All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning is to send your answer to the following question from your KidStart registered email address with your name, address and daytime telephone number to competitions@kidstart.co.uk by the closing date 14 June. (Please note that entries from non-KidStart members will be disqualified. If you’re not a member, click here to join).

Q: Who wrote Where The Wild Things Are?

Good luck - let the wild rumpus start! 

Hi there. I'm Tara and I usually blog at Sticky Fingers but today dear internet I have been given free rein to take over Liz's cosy pad. It's all part of Guest Post Day to get loads of bloggers to switcheroo with a partner and give readers the chance to discover new writers. Great idea eh?  So if you came here expecting to find Liz you can find her at mine talking about the dreaded 'A' word . . . gulp, age.

Brown Sauce Sandwiches

When I was about eight years old my snack of choice was brown sauce sandwiches. I would be off with my friends all day on my bike, only popping home for a quick bite to eat.

A brown sauce sandwich. No butter, never cut in half. Bread. Brown sauce. Fold over. No help from my mother needed.

My brother's snack of choice was ketchup sandwiches. If you think that's strange, when my mum was young she says she used to have condensed milk sandwiches . . .

Brown sauce sandwiches seemed perfectly OK to me. I mean I love brown sauce on my chips and on my bacon sandwiches, so this was just a quicker and easier option. But I was talking to my 17 year old nephew at the weekend and his choice of sandwich floored me. Jam on one side, Marmite on the other, sandwich together with onion inbetween.

What? Noooo.

Is it a youth thing eating food mixtures which us grown ups consider revolting?

Actually, when I think about it I used to adore banana on my pizza and would also eat raw spaghetti (the hard pasta variety, not the canned sort). My best friend when I was 10 used to eat Marmite from the jar . . .

And now my seven year old dips breadsticks into his yoghurt and my four year old's snack of choice is a bowl of frozen peas (which I thought was totally weird but then mentioned it on Twitter and it seems I'm in the minority!)

So is it just me that is totally weird or did you ever had a strange food fetish in your childhood?

So farewell then, James 'Sawyer' Ford. You  (and your physique) kept us entertained for six fabulous, if not always coherent seasons of Lost. Don't worry, in case you haven't seen it yet, I'm not going to spoil it for you. But for me, that was the most satisfying series finale I think I've seen. Bar none. I laughed, I cried, I clung on to the edge of the sofa. And even though there were many questions left unanswered, I will miss Jack, Hurley and the rest.

I was very disappointed with the end of Ashes to Ashes - sorry, I know so many of you are huge fans, but for me it was terribly predictable. Heroes just seemed to fade away (possibly because they didn't know that would be the final episode).

No 1 Son argues that Friends had the best ending ever. But even though I loved it, the characters didn't stay with me in quite the same way as the Lost crew. I'd love to know what you think.

And meanwhile, apparently the boxed set of the entire series of Lost will contain 14 minutes of bonus footage. You can preorder now from Play.com. I know I'm going to.

Well we knew it was coming, and now it's been confirmed. The £250 Child Trust Fund voucher given to new parents is being phased out, and will be gone completely by next January.

It's a shame because I think what the CTF did for many families is to encourage them to save for their children, and at least encourage them to think about the future. Existing Child Trust Funds will continue to run.

But more worrying perhaps is the future of Child Tax Credits. According to the recent KidStart survey 44% of you believe families earning over 50k a year should continue to receive them. At the moment nothing has been said about what may happen to Child Tax Credits - but I think many of us will be watching nervously over the coming months.

*Don't forget you can deposit your KidStart savings into any UK bank or building society account.