LivingwithKids

Yesterday one of my friends said something which really surprised me. ‘It’s much more difficult raising girls,’ she said. ‘With boys, you don’t have to worry about things like pregnancy.’

Well, apart from the fact boys probably do worry about things like pregnancy when they’re old enough to understand that actions have consequences, I think this is nonsense.

Raising boys comes with its own set of problems – as they grow up, they’re probably more vulnerable to dangers outside the home, for example, like fights and random attacks.

And I would say both boys and girls are equally at risk of bullying and stranger danger.

But maybe I’m wrong. What do you think?

Half an hour into my first driving lesson and I knew it was going badly. I’d crashed into two bollards and I could see my instructor’s teeth starting to clench.

Like Maureen from Driving School, I was not a natural behind the wheel.

20 lessons and three instructors later (not my fault – I don’t think) and I was no nearer to being able to drive anything other than one of the Autopia cars at Disneyland Paris.

And now, 15 years later – well I think maybe I’m too old to learn. It’s too expensive. I’m scared. I know it would make life a lot easier, particularly for ferrying the offspring to and from various activities, but I think it may be too late.

So there you have it. I can scuba dive and snorkel. I can count to 10 in Japanese, cook a perfect risotto, throw birthday parties for 30 kids without blinking an eye, and change a fuse and a plug.

But I cannot drive.

*Is there anything you can't do, but would like to? What's stopping you? I'd love to know...

When I was a kid a family who lived near us had a beautiful black labrador. He was gorgeous, that dog. They bought him from a pet shop, and he was soft and bouncy and friendly, always licking your face and happily letting everyone pet him.

But one day while everyone was playing at their house a little girl we all knew went into the kitchen while he was having his food. He turned round and bit a chunk out of her face, scarring her for life.

The problem with dogs is that they are unpredictable and so far the law has been largely ineffective. Now plans have been made to microchip all dogs.

I'm not sure even this will help.

I frequently see a man exercising his dog in our local park. The dog is a banned breed, the Japanese Tosa. He is enormous, this dog, the size of a pony. The man exercises him without a muzzle, or lead, and yells at parents and children to get out of the park - he knows exactly how dangerous that dog is. Of course the parks police always arrive just that bit too late to catch him. And I don't know how many 'pit-bull types' I've seen in our area. The same 'types' that are known to savage babies and children.

I'm not sure what the answer is. Personally I'd like to see the reintroduction of the dog licence. But putting babies and children before pets, educating people about owning dogs and a clampdown on pet shops, puppy farms and possession of dangerous breeds would be a start.

I don’t know about you but we seem to have loads and loads of photos all over the place and I've been meaning to organise them for a while now. Which is why I was so excited to discover Photobox’s personalised Photobooks.

They’re just fab. Basically you choose which photos to include (you can have anything from 26 to 100 pages holding up to 1200 photos), and then customize each page with captions, backgrounds, fonts, colours and layouts (or you can autofill if you’re pushed for time).

Then they send the book back to you, beautifully bound, like a coffee table book. Uploading the pics can take a little time but the end results are definitely worth it.

The photo books start at £23.99 plus P&P, but if you order through KidStart you get 5% back for your kids and 2 for 1 on Photobooks and canvas prints. PLUS all orders taken in March will be entered into a draw to win one of four £50 vouchers. Click here for more info.

It's hard to believe that it's been nearly a year since Jade Goody died.

I met her a couple of times, and I can honestly say she was one of the most genuine celebrities I've ever encountered. Which is why it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that she has left the bulk of her fortune to her boys.

Her children were her whole world. Unlike other celebs who seem hooked on the publicity, from the moment she became a mum Jade saw her fame as a job, an opportunity to provide for her sons. Everything she did was for them. She was the Real Mum Deal.

Jade's other legacy, of course, was to remind us all of the importance of regular smear tests.

But I think that knowing about the contents of her will is actually an important reminder of why we all need to make sure our children are properly provided for, even if we haven't got million pound fortunes. No one likes to think about the worst possible scenario, but when you have kids of course you have to, and I'm ashamed to say I've been putting it off and putting it off.

That's it. It's on my To Do list for this week.

Yesterday to the surprise of my offspring and myself, I uttered a phrase which I honestly thought I would never use.

A phrase that my mum uses regularly, which basically makes it pre-War (or older, as I suspect she inherited from her mum).

What was it?

'Wrap up warm, you’ll catch your death of cold.’

Now apart from the fact that this is, obviously, quite a scary thing to say to a child and the concept of dying because you've forgotten to put on an extra layer of clothing or a scarf could be deemed as scaremongering, what’s surprising to me is that apparently I’ve inherited more of my mum’s parenting technique than I realised.

Not that she’s a bad parent – far from it. But apart from occasional advice from Annabel Karmel and Gina Ford, I honestly thought I was making it up as I go along. (My mum was also incredibly liberal when we were growing up, and we were latchkey kids from the age of 11. Not what I want for my offspring.)

I thought I was a Maverick Mum.

*What about you - do you think you've 'learned' your parenting techniques, or do you do it your way? I'd love to know.

Heather at Notes from Lapland has written a powerful post this morning about her fears as her child recovered from an operation.

And Ellie recently wrote about The Fear.

I know exactly how they feel, because my parenting experience has been pervaded by The Fear. I do everything I can to make sure my offspring is safe, but it's the things I can't control which make me afraid.

First of all there's the asthma. If you don't have a child with asthma, or you've never encountered someone with it, you can't understand how serious it can become. I mean properly, life-threateningly serious. We manage it and it's getting better. He's sensible, most of the time. But when he's at school or at a sleepover I can't remind him to use his inhaler if he needs it and that terrifies me. I know he's worried about using it in front of other kids.

Then there's the stranger danger. This never goes away, to be honest. We've done all the right things - taught Run Yell and Tell, a password that only we know, avoid walking too close to the edge of the road, don't accept lifts or agree to go and look at puppies, and so on. But The Fear is always there.

And finally there's the What If element of The Fear, the fear of the unknown. What If they forget to look when they're crossing the road. What If they get into a fight when they're 18 and someone pulls a knife. What if they drink too much or take drugs which mean they never wake up.

I wish I could be one of those parents who doesn't seem to worry. I'm not. All we can do is arm them with the skills they need to cope with the dangers we perceive on their behalf. Maybe voicing our fears - not to them, to each other - is a way of coping with them.

One of my friends is struggling at the moment because her little girl refuses to be left alone, even for a few minutes, and she's able to climb over their stairgate, which makes doing anything extremely difficult. By the time her husband gets home from work she is too exhausted to relax properly. 'I love being a mum more than anything, but I just need some time to myself,' she told me yesterday.

I can understand how she feels, because when No 1 Son was little he went through a phase of not even letting me go to the loo without creating a massive tantrum. Major Separation Anxiety, in fact. What cured it for us was nursery - he soon realised there were far more interesting people in the world than Mummy (and they were all his height, too!) but I realise that's not an option for everyone.

If you have willing relatives then they can usually be persuaded to give you a few hours away from your offspring a week so you can go to the gym/go for a swim/meet up with your friends. But if you don't have anyone close by then even that can be difficult.

How much time do you get for yourself - and what are your tips for mums who feel that they never get any 'Me Time'?

Disney’s Alice in Wonderland opens on Friday. I’m not sure why some critics seem to have taken a dislike to it, because as far as this house is concerned it’s pure Burton magic. I took four kids of various ages to a sneak preview and they loved every fantastical 3-D minute of it, declaring it ‘awesome’, ‘magical’ and ‘wicked’. They agreed Alice seemed a little ‘cold’, but thought that probably fitted with her background (very perceptive).

Their favourite characters were Matt Lucas as Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Alan Rickman as the Caterpillar, Stephen Fry as the Cheshire Cat - ‘very funny’ - and they all thought Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen was ‘hilarious’. And of course it does boast Johnny Depp, who, let's face it, even with that mad hair and those weird eyes is mesmerising *cough*.

My advice? Go see it, make your own minds up. Let me know what you think.

Mother’s Day is on 14 March. I’m really not bothered about gifts for myself – just a card (ideally homemade) from my precious offspring is enough for me. But I do want to show my own mum some extra special appreciation this year.  She’s been through quite a lot recently, including a major operation and the loss of her favourite Uncle, so I think she deserves a special treat.

Here’s my shortlist:

Scented Mother’s Day basket from Interflora (£29.99). I just adore the colours of this arrangement and the pretty basket gives it added impact.

Pure DKNY (from £31.50), from Superdrug, Boots, John Lewis. My mum LOVES getting new perfume (who doesn’t), and this vanilla, lotus flower, Bulgarian rose, jasmine, freesia and orchid scented ethically sourced fragrance is simply delicious.

A box of Chococo chocolates. OMG. These chocolates are SO good. Handmade from the finest Venezuelan carenero superior bean chocolate and fresh Dorset cream and filled with the most delectable flavours (£19, available from buyagift).

Glee, the soundtrack (£8.97, from Woolworths). My mum has been a fan of Glee ever since I showed her the All the Single Ladies routine, so I know she’ll love this. Hmmm. Might have to get her a few things, actually.

*What will you be getting your mum for Mother’s Day?