LivingwithKids

Man of the House probably thinks he chose me to be the mother of his offspring. I don't mind him thinking that, but the truth is I chose him. It wasn't just that he was attractive and looked good in a pair of jeans (although that definitely helped). But it was also because I knew we shared the same values and that he would be an excellent dad. Fortunately I was right.

But I know a few men who, on paper at least you would think would make good dads, but have actually fallen woefully short of their partner's expectations in every respect - financial, domestic, nurturing. Of course their children idolise them, which suggests a worrying pattern will be formed, particularly with their sons.

Anyway, with Father's Day a few weeks away, I've been thinking about what makes a man a good dad. Here are my top two non-negotiables - I'd love to hear what you think, too:

*to be a provider for his family - emotionally and preferably financially as well (although of course if he's a Stay At Home Dad that's fine too)

*respect for the mother (this is absolutely paramount, even if the couple have separated)

No 1 Son went to school this morning with his hair sticking up like Stig of the Dump, his shirt hanging out and I suspect not having cleaned his teeth. He's at that age now where if I try to comb his hair he pushes me away with a 'Gerroff Mum' and if I ask him if he's washed his face he rolls his eyes and does the exaggerated 'Muummm'.

Not so long ago he had perfectly shiny, combed hair and his clothes were always neat - that was when I was the one responsible for all his grooming *sigh*. All I can hope is that he takes after his father, who is always impeccably dressed, sooner rather than later. In the meantime I guess I'll just have to put up with the scruffiness.

*Do you have a scruffy kid? Do you leave them to it, or do you try to tackle them about it? I'd love to know.

Now I'm not *really* a football fan. I have a team I support (Chelsea, since you ask) and I do watch the World Cup - when England are in it. I love having a big barbecue with the whole family and settling down to watch a big game and saying in the middle 'what's the offside rule?' and 'which team is winning?' (Just to annoy the males, obviously. I understand it really *cough*)

Of course the rest of my family are actually proper footie fanatics - No 1 Son has even been a mascot at Stamford Bridge - so this summer I imagine we'll be spending a lot of time in front of the box. And if you're thinking of getting a new TV then Argos  have the most amazing competition on at the moment. They're offering the chance to win £5000 worth of goodies including TVs, laptops, games consoles, sofa and BBQ, plus lots of footie stuff!  To find out more about how you could win simply click here.

And not only that, KidStart are giving everyone who shops at any of their retailers between now and 11 June the chance to win a 42" LG LCD TV from Argos worth over £1000! To find out more, click here. Good luck!

I've been tagged by Karin at Café Bébé and asked to provide my 'Words of Wisdom'. She was inspired by Martha Stewart but I'm a Degenerate Housewife (thank you English Mum), so here are mine:

Don’t worry about what you can’t control. As parents we have enough stress in our lives already. Some things you have to let go.  Say you’re stuck in a traffic jam, or you’re waiting in a long queue, or your flight is delayed. These are things you have no control over, and you just have to ride them out. Instead, concentrate your energies on the things you can control. I promise you it’ll do wonders for your stress levels.

Always make the beds before leaving the house. This is something my Irish grandmother drummed into me from an early age. It stemmed from the time my grandfather was kicked by a horse and, with slightly skewed logic, Granny said she would have ‘died of shame’ if the beds hadn’t been made when they brought him in (fortunately he was OK). But anyway, it’s something that’s stuck, and being honest, it IS much better to go into a bedroom where the bed is made at the end of a long hard day. It also makes you feel as though you’re vaguely on top of things, domestic-wise.

Life isn’t just too short to stuff a mushroom, it’s also too short to iron. If you want to iron (because you like it?!) go for your life. But once you’re past the babygro/bib stage, well, personally I’d rather be doing other things. I buy school and work shirts and sheets made from non-iron cotton, and I never wear anything that needs ironing. No one has ever accused me of looking creased. Well, not to my face. (We do have an iron. And a board. I just don't know where they are.)

*What are your words of wisdom? I'd love to know - please share them below

I grew up in a household where politics was a constant topic of conversation. I mean nearly every mealtime. This was largely because my mum was a Women's Libber and my dad was a Tory. The 'discussions' almost always turned into rows, and although it didn't seem to have a hugely negative impact on their marriage (they were together 20 years) I can remember feeling quite uncomfortable every time one of their 'discussions' erupted.

Fast forward to now and although I'm quite political I chose to have a family with a man who rarely discusses politics. I know we have the same values and viewpoints on most things and we probably vote the same way, but he has never told me how he votes as he insists it's private. And to be honest, it doesn't bother me.

This morning No 1 Son announced that he hopes there is a hung parliament 'because all the parties are as bad as each other.' I was a bit taken aback but unsure whether to get into a proper debate (and besides we were already late for school).

*What do you think? Do you talk about politics with the rest of your family? Or is it something you prefer not to discuss?

It started with a little bit of wallpaper. Our house hadn't been decorated since the Sixties when we moved in and it was your basic No Original Features nightmare - cheap green carpet, Anaglypta wallpaper everywhere. 'I'll just lift this up and see what's underneath,' I said. 'Don't do it,' Man of the House warned. As usual I ignored him. To my surprise the little bit was attached to quite a lot of the rest of it and pretty soon I'd ripped off a whole chunk. The walls underneath appeared remarkably smooth. 'Look the walls are fine,' I said. 'Hmmm,' MotH hmmmed.

A few weeks later and I'd bought one of those brilliant wallpaper steamy things and the wallpaper was coming off nicely in sizeable pieces. And then I got to a bit that didn't want to come off quite so easily. In fact it was very stubborn. I yanked a bit harder and half the plaster came off, all over my head, nearly toppling me off the stepladder. 'I told you not to do it,' MotH said, a bit smugly I thought. 'We'll just have to live with it for a bit.'

So we've been living with these patchy, unplastered walls in the hall for the best part of two years. Yesterday, I decided I'd had enough of the cheap green stair carpet and decided to take that up. It looked a lot better until I took the carpet rods out. Now there's bits of chipped wood and holes everywhere. MotH said nothing. He just sighed.

Think I'll start on the bathroom next.

*By the way, if you're a DIY diva, you could win a £200 voucher when you shop at B&Q through KidStart. More info here.

Have just finished drooling watching New Moon on DVD (available from Play.com) and I found myself wondering... did drippy Bella make the right decision? I won't spoil it for you if you haven't seen it, but who would you choose (if you had to) - Edward or Jacob? My 13-year-old niece is a confirmed Cullen fan. But I think Jacob's appeal runs a little deeper. And let's face it, although he does turn into a wolf with alarming frequency, at least he's alive.

Let me know what you think!

A new survey by eHarmony.co.uk has revealed that 86% of Women's Institute members don't believe young couples work hard enough to stay together and that if they were married, they would stand a better chance of staying together.

The WI also believes that the Government should do more to support the institution of marriage and that money is the no 1 stress on relationships.

While I'm with them on the money part (I think money is probably the no 1 cause of arguments for most couples I know) I know plenty of couples who are 'co-habiting' but who are incredibly stable - more stable, in fact, than many married couples I know, where the rot has really set in and is having a major impact on the quality of their family life.

I'm also not sure what more the Government can do. And does anyone seriously decide not to get married for tax reasons?

I'd love to know what you think.

Yesterday I was looking at the calendar on the kitchen wall, and realised it was almost full for this month (and the next). With the offspring's social life.

So far this year (and bear in mind we're only in March) there have been parties nearly every weekend, six sleepovers and 10 cinema outings. That's not counting the school disco.

How did this happen? BC (Before Children) we went out all the time. MotH goes out quite a lot for work. Me? Coffee with friends and the occasional dinner. Most nights I like to be in bed by 11pm. Rock and roll.

What about you? Do you still go out a lot, or has having children hampered your social life?