Yesterday Man of the House rang me from work and asked me to bid on an item for him on eBay. Now I have sold stuff on ebay, but I've never actually bought anything. 'I've never done this before,' I reminded him. 'I'm not really sure what I'm doing.'
'It's OK, I'll tell you what to do,' he said. 'OK,' I agreed. 'What are we bidding on?'
Turned out it was an enormous jar of Manuka honey, which, being from New Zealand, is one of MotH's favourite things (and it's quite pricey over here.) The bidding was already up to £3.50.
'OK, raise it by 50p,' he told me. I entered the figure - and almost immediately another bid went up. £4.40. 'What shall I do?' I asked, beginning to get a slight andrenalin rush. 'Shall I go higher?' 'Yes, go to £4.80,' he said. I felt like I was on Dickinson's Real Deal. I was in an actual bidding war. 'It's gone up to £5,' I said. 'Go higher,' MotH said. Three minutes left until the auction closed. I punched in £5.40. 'Well?' he said. 'Seems to be alright,' I said breathlessly. 'Think they've given up.' I was a natural. 'I'll keep checking.' 'Great, talk later,' he said. 'Don't lose my honey.'
I answered a couple of emails, and looked back at the clock on the screen. Still three minutes left. I went into the kitchen, switched on the kettle, came back. Three minutes left. I clicked on the image of the honey and suddenly the screen refreshed. 'Auction closed,' it said. 'Winning bid £6.'
Oops.