LivingwithKids

In yesterday's Times there was an article by Andrew Billen in which he asserts that 40-year-old women (like his own wife) make better mums because they are calmer, they have achieved what they wanted to in work, and they are more mature. 'Motherhood is often wasted on the young, whose attention is often directed elsewhere.'

Hogwash. Personally I believe age has nothing to do with how good a mum you'll be. I know plenty of mums in their 40s who really struggled with the idea they had to put another human being first, and others who complain of being constantly knackered. And I know mums in their teens and 20s and 30s who are fantastic, natural mothers.

But I'd love to know what you think. Do 40-year-olds really make better mums, or is age just a number?

Recently actress Emma Thompson caused a bit of a furore when she said that she couldn't understand women who don't have a natural birth. I think - I hope - she meant women who choose a C-section so they can have a tummy tuck at the same time.

But in any event, personally I would never judge anyone for how they gave birth. I can always remember one of my friends told me she was going to have a completely natural birth. 'I'm not having any drugs,' she told me piously. 'It's so bad for the baby. I'm going to give birth in a pool with music playing. As long as you've done your exercises, it doesn't hurt.' I bit my tongue. Six weeks later she had to have an emergency C-section, with every drug known to man.

I've never understood why some women feel the need to wear their labour like a badge of honour. The way you give birth doesn't make your baby any less precious and personally I don't get the whole suffering in silence thing.

Sometimes, things don't go according to plan. Like when you're trying to deliver a 10lb 13-and-a-half oz baby and he's two weeks overdue. (If you're pregnant with your first baby look away now). Agony doesn't even come close. My waters broke three days before, so I was bed bound and not happy. My contractions had started, and then they'd stopped. In the end I was induced because it was getting dangerous for me and for baby. 'I NEED DRUGS,' I yelled. 'GET ME DRUGS.' We skipped the gas and air and went straight on to pethedine, closely followed by an epidural. The doctor shook her head and said 'has anyone said anything about the size of this baby?' Alarmed doesn't even come close. In any event, it was too bloody late for a C-section.

He was finally born at 4.45pm on a Wednesday, three days after my contractions had first started, and as he was given to me to hold for a few seconds he bawled his eyes out and both his father and I cried with relief. Instant, total love. While I was stitched up (this took some time, it was like a battlefield down there) his dad took him to the Special Care Baby Unit. Fortunately everything was OK and two days later we were allowed home to start our new life as a family.

Happy Easter! xxx

As humiliating moments go, there can be few guaranteed to make you more red-faced than when an old man offers you a seat on a train and gestures towards your stomach.

Do you a)scowl b)nod and say no politely or c) scream and yell 'I'M NOT PREGNANT!' at the top of your voice?

OK, of course I'm far too well brought up to do a) or c) so I went for b). But it did spur me into action, which is why I've been doing Slim-Fast for the past week.

I'm also conscious that at the end of April I'm going away with five friends and we will definitely be wearing swimsuits for much of the break.

Wish me luck. 6Ib down, only 'xx' to go.

This picture pretty much sums up who I am and where I came from. My mum and dad are holding my hands as they always did, and continued to do  throughout my childhood and teenage years. My mum is pregnant with my sister, so I was probably enjoying being the centre of attention (!) I feel so lucky to have had such a fantastic start in life. I only wish my dad had lived long enough to see his grandchildren. I hope I made him proud. This post is an entry to the Gallery.

Ever since I heard Dannii Minogue was modelling for M&S I couldn't wait to see the Spring/Summer campaign. The good news is it has just launched, so here's a taster:

The stunning Per Una Florentine red dress she's wearing is £45 (Twiggy's top is £39.50, and VVBrown's dress is £25).

In this photo she's wearing an embellished tunic from Autograph (£39.50) and holding a Limited Collection Brooke satchel (£35). Doesn't she look radiant?

And don't forget you can get money back for your kids through KidStart every time you shop at M&S. For more info, click here.

One of my friends is currently going through fertility treatment. She has been trying for three years, and everything is against her - her age, her medical history. Every month she has the awful moment when she realises that no, she isn't pregnant and the realisation that her dreams of becoming a month are slipping further and further away. It is becoming too late for her to adopt.

My heart goes out to her, not least because the odds were stacked against me becoming a mum, too. I had endometriosis,  PCOS, a pituitary tumour and suffered a miscarriage. When I was pregnant with No 1 Son I developed hyperemesis, and to be honest it was touch and go for a while.

And that's why I never, ever take motherhood for granted. I never forget that children are the most precious gift, even when they're being naughty or driving you to distraction and you're having to count to 10 not to lose your temper with them big time. (My grandmother used to say 'never go to bed on an argument' and that's always been the rule in this house.)

So today, Mother's Day, I'm thinking about those women who can't have children but so desperately want to be mums. The women who die in pregnancy and childbirth. Those whose children are sick or who have suffered bereavement. And the mums who weren't able to see their kids grow up.

Lucky doesn't even come close.

Happy Mother's Day xxx

All mums could do with a bit of pampering from time to time (hint hint, MotH) and one of the best gift ideas for Mother’s Day has to be a spa treatment – either gift vouchers or a visit arranged as a surprise.

And because mums-to-be need lots of TLC I thought I’d surprise the lovely Amy – a mum of four with one on the way - with a visit to the Sienna Spa at the Radisson Edwardian Hotel  in Manchester. Here’s what she thought of her experience:

‘My first impression of the spa was the fabulous smell, the lighting was soft and relaxing and the assistants were very friendly and informative. I turned up a bit early but I'm glad that I did because I was given a complimentary drink and guided into the relaxation room to start my spa experience.

There were nice deep chairs, soft lighting and relaxing music being played through the speakers at just the right level. The room overlooked the swimming pool and Jacuzzi, which looked gorgeous. Don’t forget your swimming costume!

After relaxing for a few minutes I was greeted by my therapist and lead to the treatment room. The room was lovely. Candles were lit, the lighting was dim and once again relaxing music flowed calmly through the air. I had the New Life treatment (£55) which is specially designed for pregnant women. My therapist ran through the treatment with me which started with a back, shoulder and neck massage before progressing onto the rest of my body. It was so relaxing and I felt completely at ease throughout. The final step was a lovely facial.

'The whole experience was great, I felt so good afterwards and I smelt wonderful from the amazing cream that was used on me. I would recommend this treatment to anyone who wants a hour of total carefree relaxation. The team at the Sienna spa were very helpful and caring which made me feel at ease from the moment I walked through the door. This is the perfect gift to give to someone you know who is pregnant or just to book yourself for a last minute bit of pampering before your baby arrives.’

The White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood, including Global Patron Sarah Brown and WRA Ambassador Naomi Campbell, are asking people around the world to wear white and hold a dinner party in March to celebrate the 100th year of International Women’s Day, which is on the 8th.

Now as I can’t invite all of you round to my house unless you’re happy for it to be standing room only, I thought I would hold a virtual dinner party  - with a little help from some of my talented friends.  I hope it inspires you to host your own.

Here’s what’s on the menu:

Starter Carrot and Coriander soup served with crusty granary bread (created by Sandy from Baby Baby)

Main course
Pan Fried Sea Bass fillets with new potatoes crushed with spinach watercress and rocket (courtesy of Nick from My Daddy Cooks)
or

Tender Sweet Chicken Satay (from My Daddy Cooks) served with Persian Jewelled Rice (made by Carly at Wives and Daughters) or Butternut Squash Risotto from English Mum

Dessert Cheesecake courtesy of Lorraine from Ramblings of a Mum on the Run or Divine Chocolate’s Little Hot Chocolate Mousse. Served with cream.

Mmmmmm. Enjoy!

Despite Government guidelines urging new mums to breastfeed for the first six months*, a new KidStart survey has found that just 44% of you believe breastfeeding is always best.

Over 1000 of you took part in the survey, which revealed 19% feel it’s important to put their own wellbeing first. 16% believe mums should always put their baby’s needs first, while 13% feel it’s important to research all the arguments in favour of breastfeeding and bottle feeding before making a decision. A further 8% argued that no one had the right to tell them how to feed their babies.

As my recent post on breastfeeding v bottlefeeding showed, many of you feel very strongly about being told how to feed your babies - and quite right too. But a friend of mine who gave birth recently said she was astonished to find she was the only one on the ward of 10 women who was breastfeeding her baby. Perhaps some mums still aren't getting the support and encouragement they need to breastfeed.

‘Breastfeeding is the method that has been proven to be the most beneficial time and time again,’ says LivingwithKids' GP Dr Clare Heggie. ‘Unfortunately it does not suit everyone and lots of women who try breastfeeding and had to give up for one reason or another are left feeling guilty and that they have failed. Ultimately, the decision of whether to breast or bottle feed has to be made by the mum and there is no point trying to breast feed when mum just doesn't want to do it or when breast feeding is intolerable either to Mum or baby. It is vital that mums make their own decision about feeding using all the information provided.’

*What do you think - are you surprised by the survey results?

One of my friends is the proud mum of a little girl who was born with a rare genetic disorder, and without wishing to embarrass her, I'm in total awe of them both. The way she and her daughter interact is absolutely magical and it does my soul good to see them together.

I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to carry and give birth to a much-longed for and apparently healthy child only to discover something is wrong, so my heart goes out to anyone who has had to cope with this. Last Tuesday's incredibly moving BBC1 documentary Having a Baby to Save My Child revealed the plight of two families affected by rare genetic disorders and their extraordinary courage and dignity was utterly humbling. Sadly there are thousands more families across the UK who are also in this situation.

Sunday is Rare Disease Day - a chance to show your suppport for those children and their parents coping with rare genetic disorders. If you're able to raise funds by a bake sale or anything else I know they'll be very gratefully received. You can also donate your KidStart savings to GIG, the Genetic Interest Group charity  by clicking here.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.