It's weird but there's something really personal about 'editing address books - and phone contacts. I do 'edit' from time to time ie: when my long term boyfriend became my ex and I married my husband. But there are some names , like you say, that just stay there, friends I have had for years - one of whom I last saw on my wedding day eight years ago! Then there are the other names I simply can't seem to remove, the close ones, loved ones who have passed away. I simply can't do it and it brings tears to my eyes even as I'm writing this...but every time I see their name as I scroll through my phone contacts or leaf through the pages of my address book, I stop for a moment to think of them. Perhaps that is a good thing...

An interesting question.

I do sometimes have an overhaul of 'friends' in my phonebook. And, on Facebook it annoys me when old friends add you then never bother to comment or say hello. If they're clearly an active user I de-friend them, I'm not just there to make up numbers.

My oldest friends will always be important no matter how far away.

This has got me thinking. I have friends who I only see once every three years, if that, but we're still friends and they'll always be around. It would take something very serious to happen for me to remove someone from my address book, but I have done it once or twice, but they are not the people in my life who really matter. People move on and people change. Sometimes I've had to accept that we are no longer compatible. I think that's just the way life works, or maybe I didn't try hard enough to keep them.

you know what ... this post so moved me that i felt the need to email all my friends - especially those i hardly see but who are very dear to me - and to introduce LivingwithKids to them just so they knew I was thinking of them and would not EVER delete them from my address book!
I think we should all do this - tell a freind they are special !

Jane you are so right. Doesn't it make you feel bad? I have a friend who's so special to me, we have known each other since secondary school and we do meet up be it once a year and of course conversation has changed a bit over the years, but once the updates are out of the way we're just like we were at school - she's seen me through my exes and my baby tragedies as well as my new family - she's one friend who will never be deleted from my address book, no matter what.

I do edit my address book, but usually because it's been so long since I communicated with the individual that I know the address is no longer current. The fact that I have electronic contact info for most of my friends makes the address book editing less painful. I am known for keeping up with friends from my childhood so I couldn't just cut them off.

Friends, pals, mates help make you what you are. Friends who make you smile, friends who make you think, friends who tell you when you've gone too far, these are people who you must always value, especially today when so many of us move around so much.
How can anyone clear friends from their address book, as though they were copies of old magazines cluttering the sitting room?
Some people have hundreds of friends, some have a handful but no matter how many, friends are part of you and you part of them. Don't overwhelm your friends but keep them, even if it means just a few lines in a Christmas card.

Some friends you can go years without seeing each other but meet up and it seems like just yesterday you last saw each other, these are the friends you can keep in your address book. Other friendships are more strained and less easy, if time elapses then it's probably for a good reason, so delete away.

I've found that distance has proved a good measure of how worthy is a friendship is.

This is something I blogged about a month or two ago. I would edit my address book, but only the friends who are half-hearted about the relationship. Eg arranging to meet and repeatedly cancelling, promising to be in touch and you hear nothing. Friends who feel obliged to be friendly but really there's not much in the relationship. I said that having children puts restraints on your time and it's probably not much use trying to maintain those friendships. Instead there are the old friends and newly made friends who you genuinely enjoy spending time with through good and bad times. It's important to recognise who those people are. I think having children changes who you're friends with and how you socialise.

Hmm, this has got me thinking. I don't edit my address book, but I certainly edit my Christmas card list each year!
Liz, there's an award for you at mine: http://sandycalico.blogspot.com/2009/10/eye-fang-ewe.html x

I just got a new Filofax with address section so I just weeded mine out. There were 'pre children' friends in there who I hardly see now so they didn't make it into the new list!
I have one friend in particular who I don't see that much (she lives far away) but we are still close. It's all about both putting the effort in when it matters.

Life moves on and time and distance sometimes means we lose touch with firends, but I couldn't edit them from my address book, as the world turns we may come back into someones lives again at a later date and with real friends pick up where we left off. These distant friends are usually the only ones i send christmas cards to, the friends i see all the time we don't need to pass christmas greetings on paper as we can do it in person.

I agree with the point on those sadly departed - to delete them would be like saying they are no longer a part of my life when those memories are the most important.

But they we all declutter in our own ways and whatever works for you!

I agree with what some people have said here. There are definitely those friends who you don't keep in regular contact with but it doesn't matter because when you do see each other, it's like no time has passed and you have fun.

I do think friendships need to have some effort made by both parties. If there's someone who stops making an effort to call/email/see me and I feel like all the effort is one-sided, then at some point, I lose the enthusiasm myself and the friendship comes to a natural (sad) close. In those cases, I would edit my address book but thankfully that doesn't happen very often.

Good discussion you raised!