Are you still friends with people you knew at primary school?

Apr 25 • Featured • 1049 Views • 15 Comments on Are you still friends with people you knew at primary school?

We live not far from where I grew up (I went to the same primary school as the offspring) – although I have lived further away, this felt like the right place to raise a family, not least because my mum lives close by.

Recently I've spotted three women round about who I recognise. At first I struggled to place them, but then I clicked. They were in my class at primary school!

One of them was one of my 'best friends'. One of them didn't invite me to her birthday party. And one of them I didn't play with very much, but I always liked.

I didn't stay in touch with anyone from primary school, because we all went to completely different secondaries. And let's face it, I'm really not the same person now as I was at 11.

But it feels a bit weird. When I see these women on the street, we sort of avoid eye contact, but I'm pretty sure they must recognise me too. We're the same age, we obviously have a fair bit in common. I feel like I should say something. Does the fact we last spoke to each other 30something years ago make it a bit pointless? What would you do?

written by Liz Jarvis


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15 Responses to Are you still friends with people you knew at primary school?

  1. Deer Baby says:

    I’m still good friends with quite a lot of people from my primary school, particularly one, and even more so from my secondary school. I like the fact these people have known me all my life and know everything about me. However, when I go back to the small suburb where I grew up, and where my parents still live, like you I have seen some faces (I never forget a face) that I went to infants and juniors with who are still living there with their grown up kids. I have smiled but I’m not sure they recognised me – or did and were just blanking me. I would say hello. You might not have much in common any more but you could always have a quick reminisce about why she didn’t invite you to her birthday party!

  2. jfb57 says:

    I know it’s not PC but I’ve written a piece ‘The Fleet’ about OH expereince in this area. Sadly, I’ve moved away from where I was brought up & don’t see any of mine.

  3. TheMadHouse says:

    I moved away after school and didnt see any of the people I knew for 14 years. No we live in the same area, I sort of nod at a couple, but I dont have anything in common with them

  4. zooarchaeologist says:

    I’m still friends with quite a few people I met at Primary School despite moving away (or perhaps because of that). For me its great to have that shared history. However, I can see that it would be difficult if I ever saw certain people again. Its good to move on isn’t it and I have to admit I can often find myself wondering why I am still talking to Primary School chums when we don’t really have much in common apart from a shared history. Relationships are complicated aren’t they!

  5. MrsLJHall says:

    That is such an awkward moment when you both realise and acknowledge that you are choosing not to say hello! I don’t live in the town where I went to school so I am spared that little issue – BUT – I am in touch with one lady from primary school on here, and 3 others on facebook. One I’ve never seen since school, one I’ve seen twice (last time 10yrs ago), one I used to see a fair bit but again not for around 10 years and the last, the one who is on here, I try and see at least once a year xxx

  6. Nat says:

    My two best friends from primary school are still my two best friends and we’ve now clocked up 25 years of friendship from the age of 4. We do live miles apart but distance doesn’t matter.

  7. Carly (MummysShoes) says:

    I have recently been thinking about this myself. I still see one or two people around from primary but I’m sure if it wasn’t for facebook we wouldn’t recognise each other. I have one friend from primary who is still a close friend even though we live miles apart, known each other for 24/25 years. I still have a few friends from secondary as a lot of us went away to uni, did our grad jobs and then returned to the same town again and yet again facebook kept us in touch! I wouldn’t say we are ‘real’ friends anymore but we still meet up for coffee once or twice a year to catch up.

  8. Maria Duffy says:

    If you feel inclined to, I would definitely say hello. You’ll probably find they’ve been thinking the same thing and will be delighted you’ve made the effort. Since getting married and having my family, I’ve met some people from school. I’ve found that I’m not necessarily drawn to the ones I was very good friends with but have become friends with some of those who I didn’t really get on well with in school. If you say hello and have a chat you’ll probably know soon enough if you want to remain friends. Maria x

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  10. New Mummy says:

    I’ve moved quite a bit so don’t really see anyone from primary school, even when I go back ‘home’ I don’t see anyone. Though I do talk to some of them on facebook, does that count?

  11. Expat Mum says:

    I don’t see anyone I grew up with at all, which is weird. I have re-connected with a few primary school chums on FB and it’s amazing how we remember different kids. Sometimes it seems like we weren’t in the same class at all. What would be very weird for me would be to be a parent at my old school.

  12. Lisa says:

    This is a tricky one. I don’t keep in touch with anyone from either primary or high school. The simple reason is that I was ditched when I had my son at the age of 18 and it still really grates me. Sometimes I think that I should just let it go and get in touch, but that niggly little feeling stops me from doing it. Next time you see one of them, just say hello and remind them of who you are. If you get on now then great and if you don’t its no great loss. Good luck and let us know how you get on. Lisa

  13. Baby Genie says:

    It’s always really awkward, especially if you don’t approach them and they approach you, then you think I should have just waved! I find it really hard to approach people. I was picked on alot at primary and secondary school for being a redhead and I hate to go back to school days when I bump into people. I’m only in touch with one person from primary school, and I didn’t even know her then, she’s my hairdresser and we only realised recently that we went to the same school!

  14. GreenMum2 says:

    I wanted to share my primary school story with you….My oldest school friend @mozbloke is still one of my very best friends. We met in the Seventies aged 5, and were a sweet gang of four, 2 girls 2 boys. One is in Oz now and we recently celebrated his wedding together, the other girl, we lost touch with at 11 when we changed school. @mozbloke though has remained a brilliant and loyal friend, we bore our other mutual friends with twitter, blogs, and SEO (we did our A levels together, both went on to Art College, and both ended up in Design and Marketing) Although we live 50 miles apart, we still see each other regularly and our families will be together this weekend for the Bank Holiday. Happy Days x @Incredibusymum

  15. samantha says:

    Don’t think there’s any harm in saying hello. I am in touch with two friends from primary school both of whom were best friends at various stages in my childhood. My sister now has her children at our old primary school and my mum’s accountant is my old maths teacher’s wife!


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