Do You Resent Your Partner For Not Doing Enough At Home

A new survey of more than 1,200 mothers from the US reveals that many mums resent their partners because they handle far less than their fair share of the housework and childcare. As a result many say they feel like a single mum.

It’s certainly a common refrain in my house though if I am honest it’s not laziness that holds my husband back but the fact that he is out of the house from 6.30 am to 8 pm.

What is interesting about this survey though is that many of the women admit what most men already know and that’s we may complain about doing it all, but actually most of us don’t want to concede control.   Two of three women surveyed said that while the imbalance makes them resent their partners, they like being in charge of the house and kids. I fully hold my hands up here and admit that’s true because whether I am being brainwashed by mum guilt or the myth of super-mum I do like the fact that I get to make some autonomous decisions.  
It’s something my husband says is often spoken about between other dads. With one dad friend saying ‘I don’t do anything for the kids or around the house because when I do it’s either not right, or I’m told it’s not good enough.’

It may be the painful truth but I suspect many of us mums like being the embodiment of martyr and super-mum! With one mum telling me that though she moans, she likes to be in control of her kids lives and what happens in the house because that’s her domain, not her husband’s.
Personally I think that’s unfair to everyone. I think kids get a lot out of seeing both parents do things together whether that’s decision making or mopping the floor. And I think dads feel more connected to their home and kids when they muck in and help out. As for mums, I for one am certainly much happier when I give up my mantle of super-mum and ask for help, rather than stand there expecting it.

How about you – could your partner do more, or could you let him do more? Let me know.