If she was your child

May 2 • Featured • 875 Views • 17 Comments on If she was your child

Last week Esther Rantzen wrote an ‘open letter’ to Kate and Gerry McCann which made me ashamed for her.

The idea that any of us – including Esther – have the right to tell the McCanns how they should feel is just ridiculous. The tone and content of her letter wasn’t just insensitive and patronising. It was downright distasteful.

None of us can imagine how the McCanns feel. What we do know is that they will continue looking for their daughter and appealing for information and help  for as long as it takes.

And if she was my child, if she was your child, we’d do the same.

So I hope you’ll join me in taking a few minutes for Madeleine, to remind people why the search and appeal for information continues.

It’s the least we can do.

written by Liz Jarvis


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17 Responses to If she was your child

  1. Debcw says:

    I think you are right, I don’t think anyone has the right to tell anyone how to feel in any circumstance.

  2. Emma - Me , The Man & The Baby says:

    I cant believe she has the cheek to tell Kate that its time to find peace , If I was in Kate’s position I could never find peace or even rest until my child was found. She is living every Mother’s worst nightmare and we should be giving her support even if its 3 years on. Its seem to me that to become a writer for the Daily Mail, you have to be a heartless cow. Now a days every article in the Daily Mail that are aimed towards Mothers/Families are nasty or trying to find a fault with us from breastfeeding to a Mother forever heartbroken over her missing child.

  3. Amy - Miss Cherry Red says:

    I flat out refuse to read anything written in The Daily Hate. How dare anyone tell a parent who has lost a child how they should feel. Esther Rantzen should be thoroughly ashamed of herself. She’s a parent herself and I hope to God she never has to face what the McCanns have. The next time she puts pen to paper it should be to write an apology.

  4. Louise says:

    Just awful really. I cannot ever imagine giving up hope or searching for a lost child. I do agree that it came across as patronising. I didn’t realise Esther wrote for the Daily Mail as I would never buy a copy, things like this remind me why!

  5. Caroline - Frog in the Field says:

    I hadn’t seen the open letter, I’m staggered by it. My God it’s far, far too personal to do that. Don’t quite know what else to say other than there by the grace of God goes almost every other mother. We’ve all lost sight of our children for a moment in a shop, park, on a beach. We only have to remember Denise Bulger letting go of her sons hand to pay for some meat. It’s so very sad. My heart goes out to them.

  6. Crystal Jigsaw says:

    Having read about three quarters of the "open letter" written by Esther, I couldn’t carry on reading it because I found it appalling and extremely insensitive. Three years is not a long time. Those poor people have been through hell, and are still going through it. I couldn’t bear thinking about losing Amy. The feelings Kate and Gerry must be experiencing will be beyond ours and Esther’s comprehension. No one has any right to even suggest how the McCanns should feel. Thanks for highlighting this very important subject which dominated our news, and should still continue to do so. If not for Maddie, then for her parents. CJ xx

  7. Heather Davis says:

    I’m not even going to read the letter. I know it would be too upsetting. Everything that comes from that paper is hateful. Just think back to the uproar they caused when Stephen Gateley died. That the McCanns have been able to carry on at all is a testimony to their strength & courage. They are still married and trying to do the best for the two kids still with them. What’s really galling is that before they were being accused of not being loving parents (because they left her in hotel room) and now they are being villified for loving her too much. You can’t win as a parent. Any parent knows they will never stop wanting to know what’s happened to their child. To suggest otherwise is just plain madness.

  8. English Mum says:

    Just had a quick look on their website. Teaming up with this load of drivel, there’s ‘Mariah Carey is fat’ and ‘Ralf Little’s going out with someone who’s still married’. Give me strength…

  9. Luschka says:

    Three year? Three YEARS? A friend of mine died in a car accident aged 23 5 years ago and her dad still cries every time I speak to him. This article absolutely infuriated me. We’ve all lived this nightmare with her? No we freakin’ haven’t! Yes, I think of her and Maddie from time to time, and my heart breaks for them every time I see them or her depicted somewhere, but we haven’t lived this with them. My cat went missing when I was a kid and the fear and uncertainty stuck with me for months. Now I have a child and … I can’t even … I can’t even say the thoughts out loud. I agree. The next thing this woman writes should be an apology!

  10. scribblingmum says:

    I couldnt finish reading it. I think about Madeleine lots it stuck with me so much as my daughter is the same age and my nieces birthday is 3rd May. Noone has the right to judge or tell them how they should feel. I am amazed at how they manage to get out of bed every day and have a huge amount of respect for them. Ms Rantzen should be utterly ashamed.

  11. nappyvalleygirl says:

    Absolutely agree with you Liz. I read this on the Mail website and felt so angry for the McCanns. How dare anyone tell them to ‘move on’.

  12. mummy bear says:

    Do you know I have read the first paragraph and cannot continue as I will get so upset about it. What you say is completely right. Nobody has any right to tell these poor people how to feel and what to do…all we can do is pray that answers and that beautiful little girl will be found

  13. Gappy says:

    I think there’s only one person who can decide when – if ever – the time is right for her to ‘move on’ and that is Kate McCann. I’m surprised at this from Esther Rantzen actually. She always comes across as being so reasonable and compassionate. How dare she intrude on these parents grief in such a public manner. At what point did she decide that that might be an o.k. thing to do?

  14. Rosie Scribble says:

    I haven’t read the letter and I avoid the Daily Mail but I agree that if she is telling them how they should feel, then that is completely wrong. I’m really pleased you have reminded us all about Madeleine. We should never give up hope. I feel for the McCanns. It is too awful to think about really, but we should.

  15. Jo Beaufoix says:

    I can’t imagine ever forgetting Madeleine.

  16. Bev says:

    This is just unbelieveable, I did read the letter on the web, and agree with all the comments left so far and even though (trying to sit on the fence and see ER’s point of view) I understand that what she is trying to say is that the McCanns need to find peace – HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY do this when their young child is out there somewhere and they don’t know how or where she is. It is an intolarable situation for any parent to be in, I personally admire their strength, and cannot imagine how they get through each day. My heart, as always, goes out to them and if ER is trying to ‘help’ them then would it not be better for her to use her massive PR machine to help keep Maddie’s face, and those other missing children in the public eye – someone somewhere must have seen something somewhere! Whatever anyone thinks or says, the McCanns will never get any peace until they know what happened to their precious daughter and their lives, and that of their other children, simply cannot return to ‘normal’.

  17. Miss Behaving says:

    I couldn’t even read it all. The McCanns get out of bed in the morning, they breathe in and out all day, they do what’s in front of them in an untenable situation.


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