The Definitive Guide to Parenting…

Is not what this is!…sorry!

Hi to you all, I am Ami and I feel honoured to be taking on the role of Resident Counsellor for KidStart and even more so that you are reading this right now…thank you. Who are you? What do you do? Why are you doing this? Why should I read this? Give me a reason to carry on reading! All things I would be thinking at this point! So I guess I should get on with it…I am a 38 year old kid…with tendencies to act like an adult once in a while! This, I have discovered, is a useful tool, when you live with (partner included) and work with children and young people. I am a counsellor (collective groan), when saying this I often experience a dubious look in return or people ask me what council I work for…COUNSELLOR…NOT COUNCILLOR!!


I have read and re-read so many blogs on writing blogs…with panic setting in I suddenly remembered what I say to my kids (this is my actual kids (angels!) and all those wonderful kids I support everyday)… JUST BE YOURSELF! Why is it so hard to just be yourself? Often a question pondered in my groups…it is hard going when a 10 year old hides who they really are for fear of judgement, rejection or ridicule. However, I know I have been doing the same for many more years…for fear of judgement, rejection and ridicule. Books became one of my best friends as a child, I would lose myself in fairy tales and fantasy; I remember imagining being rescued or saved and living a perfect fairy tale life with my prince…what I wish my books had told me, was that the princess was more than capable of saving herself, she just didn’t know it yet! One of the driving forces behind my belief and passion in my work comes from having lived the pain of feeling alone, angry, confused, rejected, depressed, lost and totally inadequate as a child, young person, young adult and parent and not feeling supported or able to reach out for the support I wanted and needed. I so wanted someone to notice, someone to ask what was going on, someone to tell me it would all be okay, someone to listen, someone to tell me I wasn’t mad, someone to acknowledge my pain, someone to tell me it wasn’t my fault, someone to tell me I wasn’t a failure, someone to tell me I wasn’t alone, someone to tell me it wouldn’t always be like this. I stumbled along an unknown road and encountered many bumps along the way, until I hit a dead end. Something had a to change, I had to take a different route…look for a different destination, make the right choice for my children and myself…the road I chose has bought me to this point…I have no idea where this journey will take me but I do know I have made this happen and I am there to enable others to make it happen for them.



Every person I encounter through my life provides wonderful learning experiences…and I want to learn from you…I want to know about you…as I am here for you! Every beginning in my groups has a getting to know you activity, me thinks this would be a good place to start! Tell me about you…I invite you to describe your life, so far, in 6 words. Mine are as follows; words Why? Because being myself means I cannot hide behind my mask, I cannot hide my flaws or my insecurities, I cannot adapt myself to fit in, I can only be ME, and can either be accepted or rejected…that is not in my control but the choice to do so is!Now I am nearing the end of blog number 1(big sigh of relief), I must admit, it was hard going. I am constantly asking myself, what are you thinking as you read this? What I do know is that I must walk the walk if I talk the talk, every day…so what would I say if I was in one of my groups? “The greatest risk in life is to risk nothing…The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing and becomes nothing…Only the person who risks is truly free” Janet Rand So, I took the risk and that is why I am here now; if someone had said to me that I would be doing what I do every day…I would have said it was ridiculous…mainly because I was the quiet and shy girl who sat at the back of your classroom, yes, the one you do not even remember being there, the one with the glasses! That was me!


Now, I am the founding director of a not for profit counselling organisation Fulfil Your Potential and Every Step Matters Project, I refer to it as a therapeutic support service. My day, normally, is totally unpredictable! For the majority of the week I deliver creative group work with my amazing co-facilitators; each and every group is individual and every member of every group is totally unique, every day is a complete surprise…the planned activities may go totally out of the window, and every moment is in the now, we respond to what is happening. Group work is my passion; it is a very real experience of people and relationships. Some days are challenging, some bring many laughs, some are full of tears, some just fears, some are heart wrenching, some warm my heart, but every day I am humbled by the strength and resilience of every person I encounter through my work. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me. I am looking forward to sharing and getting to know you all over the coming months.

So, what are the 6 words that describe your life?

Ami     featured image