I am a fan of Victoria Beckham, and have it on good authority that despite her severe and gruff appearance in pictures she is both funny and a woman’s woman. I also like her because she admits to things that many of us think, such as getting annoyed at kids who won’t go to bed, to husbands who won’t pick up after themselves. Her latest confession that “Being a working mum you feel guilty every time you go out of the door to work,” certainly rings bells for me. As does her admission that work and motherhood makes you feel ‘torn’.
People may say what does she know with all her money and staff but if you listen to her words she’s right “It’s the same for any working mum out there. You just do your best, but constantly feel guilty. I enjoy being a mum. I love having kids more than anything and I would do anything for them.”
What I’ve learnt is that no matter what you do with work and motherhood, you never feel happy with the result. I constantly feel guilty that I don’t give my kids enough time and that I am often ratty and snappy on work days as I struggle to make sure I do the school run and cater to work needs. That said, I know stay at home mothers who feel equally guilty about the choices they have made.
I think the key with mummy guilt is for all of us to just stop doing it. I notice my husband (and other husbands) aren’t wracked with guilt all the time. I know he feels bad for working long hours but it doesn’t beat himself over the head with it. His reasoning being “Life is stressful enough without making yourself feel even worse.”
He’s right because mum guilt is one of those emotions that basically isn’t rational. All studies show that children of working parents have a normal, healthy development even when both parents work. They are happy, they feel loved so there’s nothing to feel guilty about? Right or wrong? What do you think?